Elder Financial Abuse: 9 Warning Signs Every Adult Child Should Know

Your mother has always been careful with money. She clipped coupons, paid bills on time, and kept a modest savings account that she planned to leave to her grandchildren. Then one day, you notice a $3,000 withdrawal she can't explain. Then another. Then the savings account is empty.

Elder financial abuse is the most underreported crime in the developed world. The FBI estimates that Americans over 60 lose more than $3.4 billion annually, but the true figure is likely far higher — most victims never tell anyone. Some don't realize they've been victimized. Others are too ashamed to admit it. And in many cases, the abuser is someone the senior trusts: a caregiver, a neighbor, or even a family member.

For adult children, the challenge isn't just stopping the abuse — it's recognizing it before the damage is catastrophic.

What counts as elder financial abuse?

Elder financial abuse is any illegal or unauthorized use of an older person's money, property, or assets. It goes beyond the stereotypical phone scam. It includes:

  • Scams and fraud — phone, email, text, and online schemes designed to extract money through deception
  • Theft by trusted individuals — caregivers, neighbors, or acquaintances who steal cash, forge checks, or make unauthorized purchases
  • Family exploitation — relatives who pressure the senior into changing their will, handing over Power of Attorney, or "lending" money that's never repaid
  • Financial control — anyone who takes over the senior's finances without proper legal authority and uses it to benefit themselves
  • Predatory lending and contracts — businesses that sell unnecessary products, services, or financial instruments to confused or vulnerable seniors

The common thread is that the senior is either deceived, coerced, or unable to fully understand the transaction.

The 9 warning signs

Financial abuse rarely announces itself. It starts small — a missing $50 here, an unexplained charge there — and escalates. These are the patterns that adult children should watch for.

1. Unexplained withdrawals or transfers

The clearest red flag. If you notice large withdrawals, wire transfers, or checks written to unfamiliar people, ask about them directly. A single withdrawal might have a legitimate explanation. A pattern of them almost never does.

What to look for: Bank statements showing regular transfers to unknown accounts, cash withdrawals that exceed your parent's normal spending, or checks made out to names you don't recognize.

2. New "best friends" who appeared out of nowhere

Isolation is the predator's greatest tool. If your parent suddenly mentions a new friend, neighbor, caregiver, or romantic interest who is "so helpful" and "so generous," pay attention — especially if this person seems to be inserting themselves into your parent's financial life.

Common patterns include: the new friend offers to "help" pay bills, drive to the bank, or manage finances. They may discourage the senior from talking to family members. They may frame themselves as the only person who truly cares.

3. Changes to legal documents

Sudden changes to a will, trust, power of attorney, or beneficiary designation — especially ones that benefit a non-family member or a single family member at the expense of others — are a serious warning sign. If your parent recently added someone new to their bank account, changed the beneficiary on their life insurance, or signed a new Power of Attorney, ask questions.

4. Unpaid bills despite adequate income

If your parent has always paid their bills on time but you start receiving notices about overdue electricity, water, phone, or medical bills — yet their income hasn't changed — money is going somewhere it shouldn't. This is often the first visible symptom of theft by a caregiver or trusted individual.

5. Unusual purchases or subscriptions

Gift cards bought in bulk. Subscriptions to services your parent doesn't use. Magazine renewals they never requested. Charitable donations in amounts that don't match their normal giving. These can indicate either direct scam victimization (gift card fraud is the most common payment method scammers demand) or exploitation by someone with access to their accounts.

6. Fear or anxiety around financial discussions

If your parent becomes unusually nervous, evasive, or defensive when you bring up money — especially if they were previously open about their finances — something has changed. Abusers often threaten victims with isolation ("If you tell your daughter, I won't help you anymore") or shame ("People will think you're senile").

Watch for: deflection ("Everything's fine, don't worry about it"), anger that seems disproportionate to the question, or physical signs of distress when discussing money.

7. A sudden, irrational attachment to the phone or computer

If your parent is receiving multiple calls a day from unknown numbers, spending hours on the computer "talking to someone," or becomes agitated if you suggest screening calls — they may be in the middle of a scam. Romance scams, in particular, involve weeks or months of daily contact before the first request for money.

8. Missing valuables or property

Jewelry, collectibles, or other valuables that disappear from the home. Furniture, electronics, or artwork that "was given away." A car title that was transferred to someone else. Physical theft by caregivers or visitors is a form of financial abuse that often goes unnoticed because the senior may not remember the items or may be too embarrassed to report them.

9. Cognitive changes paired with new financial activity

If your parent has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment (MCI), early-stage dementia, or Alzheimer's, and you simultaneously notice new financial activity — new accounts, new investments, or new relationships that involve money — the risk is extremely high. Cognitive decline doesn't make someone incompetent, but it does make them significantly more vulnerable to manipulation.

What to do if you see the signs

Start with a conversation, not an accusation

The worst thing you can do is lead with blame. "Why did you give that man $5,000?" will trigger defensiveness and shut down communication. Instead, approach it from concern:

"I noticed some unusual charges on your bank statement. I'm not worried about you — I'm worried that someone might be taking advantage of you. Can we look at this together?"

Frame it as a shared problem to solve, not a judgment of their intelligence.

Secure the financial perimeter

If you suspect active exploitation:

  • Contact their bank. Most major banks have elder abuse teams. Ask about placing transaction alerts, requiring dual signatures for withdrawals over a certain amount, or naming a trusted contact on the account.
  • Check credit reports. Request free reports from the three bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) to see if any new accounts have been opened in your parent's name.
  • Review legal documents. Confirm that Power of Attorney, wills, and beneficiary designations haven't been changed recently — or if they have, that the changes reflect your parent's genuine wishes.

Report it

Elder financial abuse is a crime. Depending on your country:

  • US: Report to Adult Protective Services (APS) in your state, the FTC (ReportFraud.ftc.gov), and local police
  • UK: Contact Action Fraud (actionfraud.police.uk) and your local Adult Safeguarding team
  • Canada: Report to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (antifraudcentre.ca) and provincial Elder Abuse helpline
  • Australia: Contact Scamwatch (scamwatch.gov.au) and IDCARE for identity theft support
  • New Zealand: Report to Netsafe (netsafe.org.nz) and the NZ Police

Many families hesitate to report because they're embarrassed or because the abuser is someone they know. But reporting protects your parent and prevents the abuser from victimizing others.

Prevention is cheaper than recovery

Once money is sent to a scammer, it's almost always gone. Wire transfers, cryptocurrency, and gift cards are chosen specifically because they're irreversible. The average elder fraud victim in the US loses over $35,000 — and that's just the financial cost. The emotional toll includes depression, anxiety, loss of independence, and fractured family relationships.

The most effective protection isn't software or monitoring — it's a structured family agreement about how money decisions get made. Simple rules like "any financial request over $500 gets a second opinion" or "we never buy gift cards for payment" create friction that stops scams before they succeed.

The Elder Scam Shield guide includes a complete protection system — printable checklists, conversation scripts, and a family code word protocol — designed to make these rules concrete, visible, and easy for your parents to follow. It's $14 and takes five minutes to set up.